By Richard Larson, Opinion Editor
Dylan Cobbs, Freshman, Scott Village
Recording Studio – A swanky chair and legit mic allow Cobbs to record his insane lyrics and vocal stylings. You will have to find his work if you want to know the genre. I’m guessing it isn’t classical.
Casual Cologne – With the varying scents of college, a gentleman must always have something to mask both himself and his goods to stay fresh. Burberry gets the job done and suggests superior taste.
Air Re-Distributor – A fan is a necessity if you keep up with your abdominal routine in your room, or if you get over-heated easily. Cobbs usually places his fan near the exit window of his Easy-Bake Oven to tease his neighbors.
Art Display – Cobbs works for a daycare in his spare time and seems to be favored by the children. Their artwork is proudly displayed in frames and via tape. Ladies, Cobbs is quite the catch with having a respect for the arts.
Kyle Pane, Freshman, Scott Court
Serious Screen – Nothing says movie nights or the Super Bowl like 48 inches of liquid crystals. Pane wants the female demographic to know that he has a membership with Netflix, but is not currently on the market.
Worthy Wardrobe – Pane’s collection of clothing suggests that he is never susceptible to the harsh criticisms of campus paparazzi. At a moment’s notice, he is ready for a night downtown, or pressed and prepped to praise at church.
Bedside Blender – Kitchen appliances aren’t unusual if found in a college dorm, but a blender is rare. Pane stays hydrated by the generous servings of blended beverages. With a comfort grip and twisting spout,plentiful refreshment is just a reach to the right.
Entertainment Goods – A Playstation 4 gaming console and a slew of games and accessories reveal that this freshman is no friend of Mr. Bored.