We all love a good Buzzfeed Quiz, right? Or for some of us, the Daily Shouts in the New Yorker. We can all take a break from our very serious and very stressful lives to laugh at a satire of ourselves– or our zodiac signs– and at the Gateway, I wanted to do just that.
The following is a Seasonal Shout (thanks, New Yorker, for the inspiration) of 10 of the most popular college majors– according to the Princeton Review— and their complimentary fall stereotypes illustrated with my sub-par watercolor skills. This is all in good fun, and every major is profoundly unique and useful, so sit back and have a laugh. Here’s to hoping you find the pumpkin spice-flavored product of your dreams.
And for those of you whose majors are not represented in this list, you get to pick your own adventure in your neighbor’s candy bowl. I’d personally go with the king size Reese’s.
1. Computer Science
Computer science majors would most likely identify as an item that would be practical and useful beyond the Autumnal solstice. These majors don’t do things willy nilly and have a keen sense of logistics. For that, I award them with a beanie. This also goes to show that not all computer science pros are the same, as you can find your favorite chilly weather accessory in a variety of styles. For me, I’d definitely go with a pom pom.
As a Communications major myself, I know the value of being able to, well, communicate effectively. This goes beyond words and verbal consistency, but also non-verbals and artifacts in our culture. Therefore, a Jack-O-Lantern must be the route for this major. Although most Jack-O-Lanterns don’t represent our exact feelings, they sure know how to put on a convincing facial expression.
3. Government/Political Science
Political science is a great area of study, and there are many extremely intelligent and noble individuals in the field, but at least in 2018, we have to admit we’re tired of politics. It seems that many our politicians and leaders put on costumes and fake their integrity– or, I mean, are just plain scary without pretending. For that, I must denote Political Science the Costume Part of majors.
Similarly to how a business is very individualized to the needs of its consumer, this fall activity is unique to Omaha. Business majors are just like a trip to Vala’s Pumpkin Patch, because they will eventually have a lot of money, and everyone and their friends are doing it. It looks super fun and the place to be, and they even have their own coffee shop.
Economics majors will forever be better than me at math, and for that, I thank them. Understanding various economies, currencies and systems is a complicated maze to be the very best. It only makes sense that they are trick-or-treaters, because this is the ultimate transaction: free candy.
6. English (Language and Literature)
English majors are skilled in storytelling, as well as grammar, vocabulary, voice, and more. We depend on them to better our communication and better understand the stories others tell. Because of this, they must be horror movies, because Stephen King knows what he’s doing when he puts the words “clown” and “balloon” in the same sentence.
Psychology students know the ins and outs of our brains; also known as the organ that lets the rest of us study whatever we want. They understand the dynamics of trauma, fear, joy and pleasure. So for both the thrill-seekers and thrill-studiers, they must fit under a haunted house. Catch you at Scary Acres?
The first thing you think of when you picture an experience with a nurse is (hopefully) a kind and intelligent caregiver who makes you feel at ease in any medical situation. While most of Autumn falls more in the category of corn field than medical field, nurses, to me, would be a caramel apple sucker. They’re sweet, and chances are, you might even get a sucker after your appointment with one.
9. Chemical Engineering
Chemical engineers work to understand the chemistry behind things that exist in our every day lives. Things like cement, gas for our cars, McDonald’s byproducts– and yeah, Pumpkin Spice Lattes. These people win the coveted seasonal drink because they know everything going on in those white Starbucks cups.
The only reason I know why leaves change colors in the fall is because of my sixth grade biology class. Therefore, for everyone studying anything from the smallest bacteria to the tallest mountains, we dedicated the chlorophyll-losing piles of leaves to you.