Godzilla vs. Kong Movie Review: The movie to end all movies

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Jackson Piercy
CONTRIBUTOR

Godzilla and Kong having a pleasant conversation. Photo from imdb.com.

This might be the greatest movie ever. Not in terms of acting, plot development or even special effects. I’m talking in terms of film as pure spectacle.

This is up there, for me, in terms of films like “Independence Day and Avengers: Infinity War.” This isn’t so much a movie as it is an event. This is the film equivalent of a fireworks demonstration on the 4th of July.

Now, I may be a bit biased, being the massive Godzilla fan (and fan of kaiju movies in general) that I am, but don’t let any premonitions about my opinions about this film fool you. If you buy a ticket to “Godzilla vs. Kong,” that is exactly what you are going to get, and even more.

Plots in these movies are mostly irrelevant. I don’t think the average moviegoer is going into this to see any kind of family dynamic or learn about the lives of the puny humans on the ground. What plot there is, however, is pretty (mind the pun) bananas.

Essentially, Godzilla is lashing out against particular parts of the world, much outside the realm of what Godzilla has exhibited in the previous films. What will the humans ever do? Well, it just so happens that they have in containment Godzilla’s natural foil, the massive ape Kong.

Eventually, as shown in the title, the titans duke it out. The plot isn’t really there for anything more than to take the big monsters into new settings to wipe off the face of the Earth (sorry, Hong Kong). Though, I will applaud the creativity in terms of setting and including a mind-bending adventure to the center of the hollow Earth (you read that correctly, I swear).

To say anything past that would spoil all the good bits of the film, which I am not going to do here. If you are a fan of Godzilla like I am, though, you will be absolutely delighted by the guest star toward the end of the film. If not, the side plot with Millie Bobby Brown, Brian Tyree Henry, and Julian Dennison is worth the price of admission alone.

I don’t think it would be fair to categorize this movie in terms of cinematic greats like “Citizen Kane and Apocalypse Now.” Those are films for the mindful viewer. Godzilla vs. Kong is one of the stupidest movies to come out in the last 20 years, and I say that in the most loving way possible.

Godzilla movies, barring the 1954 original, are mostly for you to turn your brain off. The big lizard and the big monkey are doing moves on each other that wouldn’t be foreign to a WWE wrestling ring in Hong Kong with absolutely no regard for human life.

Nuance has not taken a back seat; it was launched into the sun, long before this film even started production. Though, the film would probably actually be made worse with its addition, so good on the filmmakers for realizing that as quickly as they did.

Just saying this now, I absolutely cannot recommend this film enough. If you’ve seen it already, watch it again. This is about as close to pre-workout in film form we’ve had in a very long time. If you think I’m being hyperbolic, you’re dead wrong.

Watch it, re-watch it, see it with your friends, watch it with your dog, whatever. The only movie I couldn’t recommend this to is Prince Phillip, lest his heart explode from the pure adrenaline that this film will produce. Every single movie that has been made before this was leading up to this one. Honestly, we shouldn’t even hold the Oscar for best picture, because it has already been won handily by this masterclass in spectacle.

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