UNO introduces Lavar Ball

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Joe Franco
SPORTS EDITOR
DISCLAIMER. THE TOPICS AND ISSUES COVERED IN THIS EDITION ARE NOT REAL NEWS.
… HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY.

Lights. Camera. Action. Ladies and gentleman, welcome the newest addition of the University of Nebraska at Omaha community: Lavar Ball.

Well, technically UNO should welcome their newest commit LaMelo Ball to the basketball squad, but Omaha receives a big-picture addition with his father Lavar.

After originally being committed to play at the University of California, Los Angeles, the Bruins pulled Lamelo’s scholarship after the fame and attention his father drew to the program. Lonzo Ball, the oldest of the family, spent one year at UCLA, but his talent only scratched the surface of what the Ball family is capable of.

“I spent a few years on the practice squad for the Jets and the Panthers in the NFL,” Lavar Ball said. “I know a little bit about how to handle the fortune and fame, and I am just paving the way for my sons’ futures because they will rule the National Basketball League. Just you watch.”

The Mavericks made it all the way to the Summit League Championship and were just one possession away from making the NCAA Tournament. This performance was more than enough to sway the Ball family to take their greatness to Omaha.

Lamelo first gained attention after scoring 92 points in a game his senior year of high school. The younger brother is nothing but a team player with his unselfish style of play. He and his father will bring a winning-attitude that will put the team first.

“I do think Lamelo could take Jordan one-on-one. He’s old, fat and slow and my son is the best thing since sliced bread,” Lavar Ball said. “But when it comes to the game itself, my son loves to share the ball. He’s the most unselfish basketball player I’ve ever witnessed.”

Though his son Lonzo is projected as a top-five NBA draft pick, the father is certainly in his son’s ear to consider transferring to UNO to be the second Maverick in the Ball family. Having two Balls would only add to the dominance that UNO will display next year.

Not only will the addition of the Balls to Omaha boost ticket sales, gain a following and aid in the program’s character, but if UNO can land both LaMelo and Lonzo, then the team will be unstoppable. Oh yeah, there’s also one more Ball on the way.

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