DISCLAIMER.THE TOPICS AND ISSUES COVERED IN THIS EDITION ARE NOT REAL NEWS.
… HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY.
Since mid-March, UNO has been embroiled in a battle for the title of “Top Student Section.” The competition is being run by the National Collegiate Student Section Association, an organization unmatched in its prestige and one that is almost definitely a household name.
It’s been a tough run, ultimately made even tougher by the fact that UNO students haven’t been receiving enough emails from UNO asking them to vote. While student involvement has been sending multiple emails to students a day, students believe it truly has not been enough.
“We just got back from Spring Break,” sophomore Rock Climbing major Angela Bolder said, “I have such a short attention span right now. If I’m not getting an email at least every 20 minutes I’m going to stop thinking about the student section and start thinking about Cancun again. I just like, really miss Cancun.”
UNO Marine Biology major Bobby Marinara agreed and said: “I mean, if they were serious about this they’d be sending us way more emails than they already are. We’re up against schools that people have actually heard of!”
It’s important, however, to be fair to student involvement at UNO. While the organization may not have been sending out enough emails, a little has been better than nothing in some cases.
“I didn’t even know we had a student section before this,” said a student who was too embarrassed by this to reveal her name to the Gateway.
Other students mirrored this with similar thoughts. “Through these emails, although I have to agree that there haven’t been enough, I learned that we had sports at UNO,” Senior Hip-Hop Campanile major Benjamin Keys said, “I’m surprised UNO hasn’t spent more time or money on the athletic department here.”
Ultimately though, it’s important for the higher powers at UNO to recognize that nothing is more vital for us than having the title of best student section.
The fact that UNO is ranked by Military Times as the top university for military friendliness, or that UNO has received the Presidential Award for Economic Opportunity, mean nothing compared to the honor that having the best student section would bring.
UNO, we need to see more of those emails.